Last month, I participated in a panel discussion on “Finding Your Voice” for the California Writers Club Marin Branch. I’m writing my fourth novel, another “page-turner with a conscience,” and I know that I have an author voice that is me, the writer, and it’s distinct from my characters’ voices. But it wasn’t until I was asked to take part in this panel that I deconstructed that author voice, and identified how it differs from my characters’ voices. (Spoiler alert: sometimes it doesn’t, when it should.)

(Here’s a video of my presentation if you prefer to watch instead of read. Only nine minutes.)

I’ve been in a wonderful writers’ group for five-plus years now, and one of the most useful, and common, critiques I’ve received, in regards to my dialogue, is: “That doesn’t sound like your character, that sounds like you.”

(I hate it when people are right like that.)

To deconstruct my author voice, I looked through my three novels, and compiled dozens of excerpts, but because I had a time limit, could only include a few in my talk. 

From Wasted: Murder in the Recycle Berkeley Yard

Once, while we were unloading groceries from the car on a rainy afternoon, Eileen said to me that she had mistaken my unhappiness for depth. 

Ouch.

So I know Eileen is absolutely the last person in the universe to seek comfort from. But bad habits die hard. 

 

 

 

 

From When I Killed My Father: An Assisted Suicide Family Thriller

Robert Rose lay on his back, his hands crossing his chest. Peaceful. Deep in sleep. Lamar used to be able to sleep like that — “You could probably nod off on a fire engine with sirens blaring,” Janis once said, not hiding her resentment.

He couldn’t sleep like that now.

He couldn’t sleep like that now.

He couldn’t sleep like that now.

He couldn’t sleep like that now.

He couldn’t sleep like that now.

From Bones in the Wash: Politics is Tough. Family is Tougher.

​​(This is a conversation between Lamar and his daughter, Sierra, who has just returned home to Albuquerque to work on a political campaign just as her parents are separating.)

​​“Tell me what’s new,” he said.

“You mean, other than the fact that my parents are splitting up and I’m coming home to land in the middle of it?”

As they neared downtown, the windows of the Plaza Tower and the Hyatt reflected the afternoon sun. “You’re upset and you’re not sure how you’re going to manage,” he said.

“There you go, doing that therapy thing on me.”

“No, that’s called listening, a highly underrated part of conversation. It’s where you say something, and I pay attention. You may want to try it sometime.”

“Dad, I am a good listener. That’s why I can hear you manipulating me.”

So when I looked at these and many more excerpts, I asked myself “what characterizes my author voice?” and I came up with these adjectives and attributes.

  • Smart
  • Sharp
  • Snappy
  • Witty
  • Staccato
  • Tight
  • Irreverent
  • Dramatic, sometimes melodramatic
  • Over-the-top
  • Metaphorical
  • Visual
  • One-word sentences and sentence fragments 

It was a valuable exercise for me, and I encourage other writers to try it. We all have a voice, but often, we are not conscious of it. Think of it like accents. Many of us don’t think of ourselves as having accents, but we do. 

How to Distinguish Between Author Voice and Character Voice(s)

There’s a difference between author voice and character voice, but they can blur together. Many successful writers sometimes have many of their characters sound alike — one example is Aaron Sorkin, writer of the West Wing.

But ideally, they don’t. If you see a line of dialogue, or an internal monologue, it’s bestg if you can tell who is speaking without identification. 

Think of the difference in how Barack Obama and Donald Trump speak. Obama is thoughtful and deliberate, sometimes painfully so, like he is formulating his entire sentence in his head before he says it. Trump is impulsive and improvisational. He has riffs he repeats, but you get the sense that he just opens his mouth and blurts, almost without thinking. He speaks in short guttural phrases, doesn’t finish his sentences.  

What I aim to do with my characters is identify speech patterns like that. 

Here’s a simple one. I’ve got a character in the novel I’m writing now named Mickey Macgillicuddy, who talks like this. 

“Hey man, like I went to college. Well, Grateful Dead University. Hey, how can you tell when Deadheads have been staying at your pad? They’re still there, man.”

In this case, I run the risk of sounding like a cliche, but it may be worth it for the joke.

Here are a few ways to make your characters’ voices distinct.

  • Ask rhetorical questions or answer questions with questions. Are you accusing me of…? What do you mean by…? 
  • Speak in long, grammatically correct complete sentences.
  • Speak in fragments, interrupting yourselves. Don’t finish sentences.
  • Use contractions, or do not use contractions.
  • Use words like “brilliant” or “groovy” or “awesome.”
  • Use verbal tics — 
    • “you know”
    • “look”
    • “what I mean is” 
    • “at the end of the day”
    • “actually”
  • Interrupt others. Finish their sentences.
  • Try to be funny, sarcastic, or self-deprecating.
  • Use big words, or never use big words.
  • Use certain sentence construction, like more-this-than-that.
    “Other friends didn’t disappear so much as recede.”
  • Tell stories or jokes.
    (In my presentation, I started with a joke, which comes from When I Killed My Father, where my protagonist Lamar, a therapist, tells stories and jokes and that’s as part of who he is. It’s part of his voice.

One critical way to make characters’ voices unique is what they notice, what they are concerned about, who they care about, and so on. Their inner thoughts and feelings. Their goals. Their regrets. Their yearnings.

By showing their character, you also show their voice.

You don’t want all your characters to sound alike, but if their journeys and their conflicts and what’s meaningful to them are unique, their voice will reflect that.

Let’s look at Lamar’s voice. (This is him talking to his daughter, in the same scene as the excerpt above, about listening.)

“OK. My Story, by Lamar Rose. Chapter 1. I still care for your mother. I do. I take marriage seriously. I take my responsibility as a husband seriously. I believe in keeping my promises. But love is a verb, not something static. It’s how you act. In our case, it’s become acting—on my part. Your mother doesn’t even bother with the acting.

“There’s a difference between the unconditional love I have for you and what I feel for your mother, which is conditional love. I’m going to love you no matter what. I want you to love me too, but if you don’t, well, I’m never going to stop loving you or being your father. It’s not a choice I have to make. 

“But I can’t make a marriage work by myself and I’m no longer willing to give up my own life because I made a promise. I can’t live a healthy life married to your mother. I can’t heal her—I’m not sure she wants to be healed—I can only heal myself. So I am. I apologize for not consulting you, not giving you a warning. This has nothing to do with you.”

“But why did you move?” she asked. “You love the house, the garden. Mom doesn’t care about any of that.”

“I brought that up, said we should figure out who lives where, to which she said something like, ‘after all you’ve done to me, I’ll be damned if you kick me out of my house too.’ Those were the exact words—they’re seared in my mind.”

Sierra flinched.

“Sorry,” he said. “I should have kept that to myself.”

“What did you do to her?”

That’s when I ended my presentation. My nine minutes were up. You can learn more about my author voice and character voice in my books.